Have you ever been at a point in a relationship where you just wanted attention? And I mean ANY type of attention from your mate even if it wasn’t positive. Or have you let your emotions get the best of you and said something just to cause a reaction from someone else? Well, I have and to be perfectly honest with you, I have done it in all of my relationships. I have only had three seriously committed relationships in my years here on earth, but they have all been eye opening experiences. With each relationship I learned something new about what I want from a man, my desires for the type of relationship I would like to have and most importantly new things about myself. One thing I realized or rather accepted is that I was acting like a spoiled brat sometimes! In relationships, I often wanted things my way or the highway! If you didn’t have time to talk to me or were taking too long to get back to me, I would get upset and pass that anger along in a mean or condescending text. If there was something that I wanted to do that conflicted with what my partner had planned I would be upset and try to make him do what I wanted. It was a very unhealthy way of life for both of us and ultimately I’m sure my selfish and bratty ways helped to place a divide between us.
I have grown enough to recognize this as one of my flaws and as God continues to reveal more of my fleshly ways I am able to humbly ask him to change my life from the inside out. I truly want him to create in me a new heart and renew a right spirit within me because one day he will send my earthly husband and if I act the way that I have in the past that man will flee with the quickness! When we ask God to change something within us (or for anything) we have to have faith that it is done, so I thank God today for changing my heart and making me into a more mature godly woman. There also must be no doubt or double-mindedness in that faith (James 6-8) and we also must begin to operate as changed women. Faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26), we must act upon what we know which means using our self-control at times when it’s hardest. It can be quite difficult not to push someone’s buttons especially when they are so close to you that you know exactly what buttons to push to get the reaction you desire. It isn’t that we won’t feel that anger or need for attention bubbling up inside us but as mature women in Christ we put away childish and manipulative tactics (1Corinthians 13:11) and begin instead to build our houses up as wise women do (Proverbs 14:1). It takes a lot of will power, discipline and reliance on God (at least for me) but it’s well worth it in the end when you are able to recognize that wonderful growth through God within yourself.
Scriptures that help me:
Psalm 141:3 – Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips
Psalm 51:10 – Create in me a clean heart O God; and renew a right spirit within me
Proverbs 16:32 – He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city