Tag Archives: life

Be angry …

It seems that in today’s world of reality shows filled with fights and arguments giving full vent to your anger is something to be praised.  But if you are a child and follower of the most high then you believe otherwise. Unfortunately, allowing anger to rule your spirit many times breaks trust, ruins relationships and worse case scenario can end a life.

In my life, I have grown to the point where the desire to know what the word of God says about issues when they present themselves is of the utmost importance, especially if they are destructive and detrimental.  When I was younger, I got angry quickly and since I was prone to holding things in, it was wrathful when I did get angry because I exploded.  While Anger is a natural human response to an emotion, giving full vent to our anger dictates a level of immaturity and lack of self-control.  The bible tells us to ‘be angry and do not sin’.  Sinning in anger or giving full vent to our anger (wrath) can have repercussions in both the physical and spiritual realm.  James tells us that the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God, so we already see that anger is unproductive and even counterproductive to our walks as children of God.

Here are three other things the bible say’s about how wrath or giving full vent to your anger affects you and those around you!  There are also good reflective journaling questions you can answer for yourself.  Many times we have ‘a ha’ moments when writing things down and quietly thinking about our inner workings, so give it a try!

  1. Makes you a fool:  Basically, if you give full vent to your anger you are acting like a fool.  That’s kind of harsh right?  But if you think about it, it’s true!  I can remember the times when I blew my top,  screaming, cursing and throwing things basically made me look a little crazy.  On top of that once I had time to calm down and look back on the mess I’d made, I usually feel quite foolish. (Proverbs 29:11 & Ecclesiastes 7:9).  Unfortunately, while you may be apologetic and truly repentant many times people won’t forgive easily or may continue to throw it in your face for years to come. (I talk a little about how to deal with someone that won’t let your past stay in the past.)  Have you ever been in a situation where you just ‘went off’ and felt horrible about it later?  Why do you think this happened, what in your past made this particular situation one where wrath was your response? How do you think you can prevent this from occurring in the future? 
  2. Makes you a troublemaker: According to Galatians 5, fits of anger is a fruit of the flesh and we know that it produces unrighteousness, but it also produces dissension and chaos.  Proverbs 29:22 tells us that a man of wrath stirs up strife and one given to anger causes much transgression and Proverbs 15:1 says that a harsh word stirs up anger.  I don’t know about you, but when in an argument with someone, especially a significant other, I used to fight as dirty as they come verbally.  This usually did not deescalate the argument, but created more anger between us.  I’ve always said that anger is something you can catch if you allow it into your spirit, it can spread and soon both people are on a horrible path to wrath!  Can you think of a time when your words have stirred up anger recently?  How could you have spoken in love and gentleness to prevent this from happening (go over the scenario in your head with a different reaction and guess how the other person may have reacted differently)? How in your life has wrath been contagious?  Can you remember  a time when you attempted to keep your cool, but allowed the anger of someone else to take you out of that mindset?  What could you have done to prevent ‘catching wrath’?
  3. A horrible friend: The bible says that you shouldn’t make friends with someone given to anger or a wrathful person.  But this bible verse speaks to the fact that a someone quick to anger usually pushes people away, either out of fear, lack of tolerance for the behavior or uncertainty because they never know what will set you off.  But what if you are a spouse or parent and given to wrath, separating yourself from your family long-term is usually not a viable option.  I would start with being as open and honest as possible and let them know that you are attempting to be better (I talk a little bit about how to deal with that here). I myself have noticed where my tendency to fly off the handle has caused friends to look at me differently and many times those relationships have not been fully mended.  People often distance themselves from dangerous things that have a tendency to hurt or feel unpleasant, in this case it would be your anger.  Have you noticed your anger coming between you and those that you love, family relationships, friendships, partnerships etc.?   How can you go to them now, laying all pride aside and be open and honest?  Write a letter (even a paragraph) letting them know how you feel as this may be an easy way to get the conversation started.
  4. Distant from God: The bible is pretty harsh on those that give full vent to their anger and it’s possibly because it is one sin that can so easily creep in and tear relationships apart if not kept in check.  If you are prone to giving full vent to your anger not only are you considered a fool and troublemaker, but you are distancing yourself from God through sin.  Those that are given to fits of anger are lumped together with those that practice sexual immorality, idolatry and orgies!  Wrath is that serious to God and we can not inherit the kingdom of and since it is a sin to give full vent to your anger as it cuts us off from God (Galatians 5:20).  I challenge you to read a proverb a day and highlight what it says about anger, it is full of wisdom!

There is much to be said in the bible about anger, just read through the book of Proverbs!  But ultimately it leads to strife and death if given to wrath.  Read here on ways to control your anger and keep those feelings in check when they arise.

God Bless on your journey to wholeness!

Court

Advertisements

Life, perseverance & yoga

IMG_9486Droplets of sweat dripped steadily down my face & onto the black mat before me. How long is she going to make us hold this pose?  I grimaced as I struggled to stay in an uttanasana, in otherwords I was bent over attempting to touch my nose to my knees quite unsuccessfully.  The instructor continued speaking in her soft voice, which at the beginning of class I had found to be quite soothing; But after 45 minutes had become more of an annoyace than an assurance.  I didnt want to hear about softening my body to flow with the movements or how my breathing should bring me into a state of knowing.  Can we please just shavasana already I screamed in my head!  I was wobbly, unbalanced, my breathing was more of a deep pant refusing to coincide with any movements & Im quite sure I resembled a new born calf trying to hold poses that in my mind my body was never meant to attempt. My hands, feet, legs & arms all felt like they were on fire & I had no idea you could be so sore from yoga!  The embarrassment of gathering my belongings & limping out of the room was becoming less of a deterrent by the minute.

The thing is, I had put myself through this torture, I had paid $15 to participate in hot yoga & be tortured for an hour and fifteen minutes.  I berated myself, knowing that the word hot preceding anything would probably feel slightly like a dialed down hell.  Also, since the class was 15 minutes longer than most I should have opted for something that was appropriate for a woman that hadnt laid eyes on a yoga mat in over a year except to toss it into the trunk of her car.

When we finally reached my favorite pose, shavasana, I melted slowly onto my mat with a deep satisfied exhale & closed my eyes.   The room was silent aside from the steady beat of low music & periodic snores of a man that was obviously more spent than I had been, but my mind was blaring.  Thoughts flooded my mind & I eventually settled on thinking of how this class was much like my life.  You see, I have this vision of being a super bendy, impromptu split doing, yoga guru but In order to reach my goal I have to make the practice of perseverance in adversity a way of life.  I struggled through the pain of lotus position & wanted to stop at navasana but I eventually came to the realization that I had to push through or refuse to grow.

The urge to bypass the painful parts of growth in leui of quick relief is a universal human trait.  We want to be strong enough to hold ourselves up in an awe inspiring hand stand dont want to do the work to strengthen our arms.   We run from the hard work that will catapult us to the next level, seek refugee in partying or dead end dating instead of identifying the cause of & working through lonliness, or we put off tedious tasks opting for the much more pleaurable lure of procrastination.  I believe that we have so many options that can pull us away from the focus of our daily ‘practices’.  The pull of distraction & ease of giving up is something that can easily deter or delay success.  But if you keep your thoughts on your end goal, eventually you will get there.  You may be tired, sweaty & sore but you will arrive!

As we exited the class the instructor stopped me as the new girl in class & told me cheerfully that she hoped to see me again in class & guess what she did!

Love you lots & much success in all you endeavors!

Court

Let me tell you about my haul!

  
I am super excited about my thrift store haul today.  I don’t normally post about clothing, but this was just too good to pass up.  I’m big on shopping, but I’m also big on finding deals and using coupons.  Usually in retails stores you’ll find me making a bee line towards the clearance section, which is obviously a great way to save some cash.  But today there was no need as a couple friends and I hit up a couple of thrift stores in the area and I felt like I had gone to retail heaven with the deals I got!  It was enough it make me say I’m never shopping retail again (at least until the new year).  I purchased a bunch of items, (3 sweaters, 4 jackets, 1 skirt and 4 shirts to be exact) but wanted to share a couple of my favs with you! 

 

banana republic jacket – $12
  
 
elie tahari jacket – $12
 
 
$12
  
HD in Paris top – $5
 

When life doesn’t go as planned

Recently I’ve gone through a lot of small life changes financially and relationally that have stressed me ALL the way out and I’m quite sure contributed to this periodic uncontrollable twitch under my left eye.  Aside from the fact that as I write this there’s a huge snow storm going on & I have no power or heat; the situations include some unexpected (extremely expensive) financial woes and the culmination of my on/off again 2.5 year relationship. These situations have undoubtedly made me think long and hard about life in general.  If ever you have found yourself exclaiming, ‘it’s one thing after another’ to no one in particular,  then you definitely understand my plight.

During times when the trials of life seem to hit hardest it can be near impossible to remain positive and we can easily berate ourselves for making terrible decisions that lead to us hitting that brick wall.  The brick wall which we could have skirted around had we listened to our inner GPS (God, family, friends, intuition), but ultimately didn’t.  After much introspection I thought of a few things these experiences and other tough times have given me (and you) the opportunity to do.

1. Draw closer to God.  There are many times in my life where I feel I ramp up my prayer life or time spent with God during a crisis or hard time.  When I do, it helps me realize not only that I need to constantly pray and seek Him, but also that I am nothing without Him.  When in trouble, I usually ask for His help first, even if it’s just a short God help me!

2. Realize just how strong you really are.  Although it’s nice to have assistance in getting through a tough time, when forced to do things alone or get through inner trials you learn to appreciate your own strength.  When I look back on times that should have broken me and didn’t, I kind of recognize the fact that I am one bad mammajamma!  When we go through the fire and come out unscathed, maybe just a little hotter, it’s always a plus to know that you can rely on you.

3. Recognize the people that have your back.  Next to relying on God and yourself there’s nothing I more thankful for than the angels God has given me here on earth. There are certain people that I can call if needed and they are right there, consistently and without complaint.  It’s truly a blessing.

4. Woman(man) up and take ownership for the predicament you’re in and make better decisions going forward.  Towards the end of last year I decided to make better choices in life as I’m a pro at making ‘meh’ type choices. Although many of the things that occurred recently were a snowball from years or months prior.  I found a way to blame other people for the sadness I felt around the situation, which is the wrong way to handle any situation. Eventually, I had to take ownership for my poor choices in the past and forge ahead.   A lot of financial woes, were my fault and stemmed from years of building up debt on credit cards, not saving or investing as I should, unnecessary shopping sprees instead of paying bills, trips that I could almost afford but not quite and simply put just not being a good stewart of the funds I was blessed with.

5. Make room to rectify mistakes .  They say mistakes are lifes way of teaching you lessons and if that’s the case I’ve learned a LOT! But now is the time reflect on what went wrong and how it’s possible to make amends for those choices. One thing I recognized was that I had allowed myself to become super unorganized in the way I paid my bills. And since I knew better, I had to do better!

6. See the sunny side of the situation. I can’t say for sure that there are silver linings to every grey cloud, but I know there is at least one positive that can be drawn from most situations.  And if we love God and are doing what He has called us to do then we should believe that everything will work out for our good (Romans 8:28).  Even now, as I sit here afraid that I could turn into a popsicle any minute now, I’m grateful for the solitude and time to catch up on some reading. Of course we all get down for a minute, but cry it out, watch a comedy but do what needs to be done to help you get it out and find the good in a bad situation. Focusing on the bright side is far more productive than wallowing in the negativity.   The thing with negative thinking is that the more you focus on it the deeper you sink until you’re drowing in it and in some cases unable to save yourself.

2 Corinthians 12:9-And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

God bless,
Court

IMG_7979