Tag Archives: growth

You’re better than this: 5 ways to become better

My journal entry for February 11th started off something like this,   ‘I refuse to be in the same place that I’m in today this time next year’.  Where exactly did I find myself?  Still starting bright ideas and running out of steam half way through, still not in the shape I want to be, and still entertaining unhealthy relationships.

While I’m fairly happy with my life, there are times when I look out of my office window and feel as if I’m not living the life I was designed for.  My dream has always been to live a life that feels like a vacation.  You know, that feeling of excitement, happiness, awe, expectation and immense relaxation.  However, the past couple of years have been anything but vacation-esque since for much of 2016-2018 I found myself constantly stressed.

With all these half finished bright ideas, a pooch that arrived at 35 and decided it was happy to reside on my lower belly, and an obvious unhealthy attraction to men that aren’t God’s best for me I can’t help but think to myself Court, you can do soooooo much better.  Better than the internal bitch that sometimes lives inside my head and tells me how bad it all is, how I’m not as beautiful, smart, kind, nor godly as the next woman.  Better than living a life that settles for goals that seem ‘attainable’.  Better than living a life fearful to step out because I don’t feel good enough yet.  Better than allowing the world to quiet my voice because I’m afraid of what others will say or think.

If it is true that we are always in the right place at the right time, I suppose I would have arrived here eventually.   Ultimately my goal is to look back on that journal entry next year and be proud of the growth and person that I have become.  I don’t want to alter who I am at the core, just tweak her a bit, and maybe live somewhere warmer.  I envision being a more confident, positive, giving and happier version of myself.    I refuse to be the same person I am this year, going into the next and I have a plan!  Join me in coming up with your own game plan and take a look at the five main things I’m doing to obtain my goal of living life like a vacation!

  1. Forget feelings: There are so many times in life that I don’t feel like doing something and guess what, I wouldn’t do them.  Usually, these were things that could help propel my life to the next level but even so that hasn’t always been motivation enough to make me proceed with the tasks.  So, I have realized that I can’t focus on my feelings and have to push through.
  2. Practice Self Discipline: Being disciplined is very necessary when accomplishing tasks and getting to where you want to be in your life.  If I am able to have a game plan to follow it helps keep me disciplined because I can see the entire picture.  Often times, when I’m not being disciplined it is because it’s a task that I won’t see immediate results from and it’s easy to push those type of tasks to the back burner.  Like working out that pooch, it could take months and sometimes even years to reach fitness goals but it is done through being disciplined enough to motivate ourselves.
  3. Start something:  If you’re anything like me you have so many goals and aspirations in life that sometimes it can be daunting as to where to start.  My advice to you would be just start something somewhere.  For me it was martial arts and Spanish, for years I’ve been talking about taking both and have yet to do it.  I literally procrastinated for years!  Instead of continually putting it off I decided I would make a move towards the goal.  I am now on my second stripe in Hapkido and am signed up for conversational Spanish!
  4. Listen to that still small voice:  If life has taught me anything it’s the fact that I should listen to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit directing me and my intuition.  This was something I knew with my heart, but consistently ignored and plowed forward regardless.   I have found in most cases when I did there were definitely regrets to follow, especially when it comes to relationships.  I could have saved myself a tremendous amount of heartbreak, money and time had a listened to my intuition.
  5. Put aside anything that does not serve you:  This includes relationships, activities, habits and character traits.  I envision the woman that I desire to be and plan to chase after her with no abandon.  Hopefully, you do the same!

God Bless,


Growth Journeys: supporting each other through change

Have you ever been in a situation where someone was always reminding you of the person you used to be?  Not allowing you to grow as a person based on who they believe you to be?  Throughout my life I’ve come to recognize that people grow and for better or worse they will ultimately change.  No one remains the same, I’m not the same person I was five years ago and will be different five years from now.  Although our core values may remain consistent, we evolve and are molded by life experiences.  It can be difficult to allow people the space and encouragement to grow as many times we want to box them into what our perspective is of them without getting to know the developed individual.  This could be because we don’t want them to change, don’t believe the change, or we don’t see it occurring in a recognizable way or within a certain time period.

I’m guilty of this and recognize it most when it’s done to me as I recently had a situation along these lines.  Many times the thing that hurts the most is that the people closest to you often have the hardest time letting go of the old you by constantly hurling reminders your way about who you used to be.  For someone wanting to better themselves, experiences like this can negatively impact your growth and become a stumbling block, especially if you are just beginning their journey.  It’s like the devil who will always remind you of that sin you committed last week, that thought you had the other day, or that you aren’t good enough to be a child of God.  Ultimately, you have to realize that it’s the other persons issue and press forward without their support and continue to live your truth as best you can.  Also, remember to speak words of God over your life, relationships and endeavors.  When someone speaks negativity over your growth journey (even if it’s yourself) remind them that although you may not be where you need to be, you aren’t where you used to be and thank God for even the tiniest of growth spurts during your development.

On the flip side, if you find it hard to support a change in someone either because you don’t see it or don’t believe it valid, if it’s a good shift, try your best to always be in their corner and speak the truth in love.  I can honestly say that I have the negative nelly trait and sometimes it rears its ugly head either in my own life or in dealing with others.  I have to consciously catch words as they come out of my mouth sometimes before it’s too late, which unfortunately many times it is.  We have to remember that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but no one should have to pay for those mistakes for  life.  Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthian 13:5) and if you’re continuing a relationships with the person, it’s easier to be receptive to their change if you aren’t harboring resentments and past failures.  Many of us fear change, even if it is for the better, simply because it’s uncharted territory.  But we shouldn’t take that out on those that strive to be and do better in their lives.  Be supportive of others growth journeys, you may just find that you like the new them and if someone isn’t supporting you, it may be time to continue your journey without them!

God bless and here’s to a purposeFULL life!

Court 🙂