Tag Archives: family

Burn the highlight reel

This morning as I scrolled through my facebook feed I ran across a post that threw me, one of my friends announced her decision to file for divorce from her husband of over thirteen years.  There are two things that caught me off guard, one was the fact that she had the guts to blast the news all over social media because as a semi-private person that is just getting comfortable with opening up to the world, I don’t think I would have had the desire to allow people into my business on that level, but different strokes.  The second and real thing that shocked me was that just days before I ran across another post of she and her husband in what looked like an extremely joyous situation.  They were out on a date night, celebrating the brief freedom from daily responsibilities, taking cuddly, kissy selfies and posting it all for the world to see.  I had never seen anything on her newsfeed that would remotely point to an unhappy situation.  We aren’t that close and in real life we’re maybe distant associates so I didn’t feel comfortable asking about the situation or even commenting on the status, but I did want to know how and why it happened?  Partially because I’m nosey but mostly because I used to long for a successful marriage and family of my own based off of the glimpses of happiness portrayed in her and a couple others feeds.  I didn’t want to see another marriage bite the dust, especially one that I looked up to from a far.

Unfortunately, it’s the tragedy of the highlight reel.  We get to edit, Photoshop and tweak our lives into our personal perfection even if we aren’t truly living it.  I honestly don’t even think many of us do it consciously as I can’t see too may people stopping in the middle of a heated argument to announce, we should take a selfie!  Most of us try to keep the lowlights of our lives locked tightly behind closed doors and definitely off of social media (although I have seen a couple of pretty comical FB fights). If we lose sight of this key fact, we can find ourselves in the dreaded comparison trap where we are pitting our blooper reel against someone elses highlight reel.  I’m guilty of it and fell prey easily because I pined for a family of my own, so when I looked at photos or videos of my friends sharing the brightest moments with their significant others and kids it would at times make me unhappy with where I was in my life. That’s the biggest problem with comparing your life to someone else’s, it becomes easy to be unsatisfied with the blessings God has given you.  In turn you choose to be unhappy and unappreciative based off of a perception that your life would be so much better ‘if’.

To be happy with our true authentic selves we must burn the highlight reel (as one of my favorite speakers would say) and stop comparing our lives whether it’s to gain a sense of superiority or to wallow in what we don’t have.  Always keep in mind that there are so many facets to human beings that no one can possibly get every aspect of that across on a social media network and that these are just glimpses of imperfect people leading imperfect lives. And even if they truly are living their highlight reels try to set aside thoughts of  jealousy or envy, pray that their blessings continue to overflow, embrace your own journey and keep it moving because you are needed as the star in your own movie, no one else can play that part.

Be Blessed

85 years of faith

This past weekend was my grandmother’s 85th birthday and people from all over came to celebrate with her.  My grandmother is an amazing woman of faith and she always says she walks by faith and not by sight.  As a child, I can remember waking up to the song ‘be grateful’ as she donned her Sunday’s best and  sung beautifully along with the record.  These memories are like pure sugar to me, so sweet, and at that point in her life she was (at least in my eyes) the epitome of an elegant church lady, hat and all.

The fact that she has a tremendous faith in God is evident through the many trials she’s endured throughout her life and more recently, some health scares .  Through all the testing she refused to accept negative reports from the doctors because, by the blood of Jesus she already knew she was healed, and guess what, she was!  I could only hope to become that full of faith and reliant on the word of God at some point in my life’s journey.

My relationship with my grandmother isn’t a typical one as she isn’t a typical grandmother, she is a sassy little firecracker that can (and will) tell you off if she wants and refuses to mince words for the sake of feelings.  She says what’s on her mind and makes no apologies for it.  She  is a strong woman that taught me a lot about life and relationships, be it wrong or right.  One thing that she instilled in us all is that family is one of the most important things in life.  And at her celebration amongst all the hugs, kisses and tears I found myself being so utterly grateful for the family God has blessed me with.   I am truly happy that I can call most of my best friends family as well.   Many of us find these relationships outside of family in the form of friendships and these bonds can be just as tight.  But however and whenever you find the gift of pure acceptance, kindness and joy be grateful for the experience, it’s God’s way of saying you are loved.

I found this quote from Michael J Fox that sums it up pretty well:  Family is not an important thing,  It’s everything.

Be light, Be love, Be blessed

My grandmother in the middle of the dance floor

The Super (Wo)man Syndrome

I know that one way God speaks to me is through other people. Since I’ve heard the same message three times within the past week, I think someone in heaven is definitely trying to get my attention! Once at church, once on Kerry Shook and again this morning at a conference I’m attending. Although the latter was centered around prioritizing life based on work and gardening (yes, I said gardening) not spirituality it still hit home for me. I can only hope no one else noticed that luminous glow a top my curly hair when someone switched the lights on and that light bulb shined accordingly! As Oprah would exclaim, I had an “A Ha moment”.

The messages were all very different, but had one central point, the importance of prioritizing your life. I’ve heard before that if we try to do everything, we usually wind up accomplishing nothing and as i ventured back to my hotel room after the session I came to the conclusion that I had been accomplishing little to nothing in so many aspects of my life.

I don’t have the issue of not being able to say no like others, it’s that I have the Superwoman Syndrome. I literally want to do it all! Even though my plate is already filled to capacity, I find myself taking on new ventures with friends or colleagues. I’m wanting to start a not for profit, develop another business, pursue a new class, write new blog post, volunteer for the new ministry, start a new ____________ (insert activity, any activity). I’ve had so many people look at me and ask if I was crazy or tell me that I need to slow down and focus on one thing. But in true superwoman syndrome fashion my thinking was screw that, I’m doing it all!!

I’m in no way saying that we shouldn’t take on multiple task or endeavors because in this day and age it’s difficult not to. But focusing on one thing at a time has its perks, the main one being not driving you to drink or crazy! Even if you do have a lot to accomplish, by giving your all to one thing at a time you will probably end up with a much higher return on investment. This is especially important since you’re investing one of the most valuable things you own, your time!

Currently, I’m in the pruning process as we learned today at the session. I’m cutting away fruitless task and finishing off what I can so that I’ll be able to focus on the most important things. I won’t drop any of my current projects as I have committed myself to and understand the strength of my word. But I but will delegate when possible and won’t take on anymore task no matter how appealing.

Eventually, once some of the endeavors I’m currently working on begin to grow and flourish I’ll return to others, but going forward I’ll be more selective about what I commit my time to. My goal is to reap the rewards of a job well done, not half done!

What needs pruning in your life?

Here’s to a purposeFULL life!