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You’re better than this: 5 ways to become better

My journal entry for February 11th started off something like this,   ‘I refuse to be in the same place that I’m in today this time next year’.  Where exactly did I find myself?  Still starting bright ideas and running out of steam half way through, still not in the shape I want to be, and still entertaining unhealthy relationships.

While I’m fairly happy with my life, there are times when I look out of my office window and feel as if I’m not living the life I was designed for.  My dream has always been to live a life that feels like a vacation.  You know, that feeling of excitement, happiness, awe, expectation and immense relaxation.  However, the past couple of years have been anything but vacation-esque since for much of 2016-2018 I found myself constantly stressed.

With all these half finished bright ideas, a pooch that arrived at 35 and decided it was happy to reside on my lower belly, and an obvious unhealthy attraction to men that aren’t God’s best for me I can’t help but think to myself Court, you can do soooooo much better.  Better than the internal bitch that sometimes lives inside my head and tells me how bad it all is, how I’m not as beautiful, smart, kind, nor godly as the next woman.  Better than living a life that settles for goals that seem ‘attainable’.  Better than living a life fearful to step out because I don’t feel good enough yet.  Better than allowing the world to quiet my voice because I’m afraid of what others will say or think.

If it is true that we are always in the right place at the right time, I suppose I would have arrived here eventually.   Ultimately my goal is to look back on that journal entry next year and be proud of the growth and person that I have become.  I don’t want to alter who I am at the core, just tweak her a bit, and maybe live somewhere warmer.  I envision being a more confident, positive, giving and happier version of myself.    I refuse to be the same person I am this year, going into the next and I have a plan!  Join me in coming up with your own game plan and take a look at the five main things I’m doing to obtain my goal of living life like a vacation!

  1. Forget feelings: There are so many times in life that I don’t feel like doing something and guess what, I wouldn’t do them.  Usually, these were things that could help propel my life to the next level but even so that hasn’t always been motivation enough to make me proceed with the tasks.  So, I have realized that I can’t focus on my feelings and have to push through.
  2. Practice Self Discipline: Being disciplined is very necessary when accomplishing tasks and getting to where you want to be in your life.  If I am able to have a game plan to follow it helps keep me disciplined because I can see the entire picture.  Often times, when I’m not being disciplined it is because it’s a task that I won’t see immediate results from and it’s easy to push those type of tasks to the back burner.  Like working out that pooch, it could take months and sometimes even years to reach fitness goals but it is done through being disciplined enough to motivate ourselves.
  3. Start something:  If you’re anything like me you have so many goals and aspirations in life that sometimes it can be daunting as to where to start.  My advice to you would be just start something somewhere.  For me it was martial arts and Spanish, for years I’ve been talking about taking both and have yet to do it.  I literally procrastinated for years!  Instead of continually putting it off I decided I would make a move towards the goal.  I am now on my second stripe in Hapkido and am signed up for conversational Spanish!
  4. Listen to that still small voice:  If life has taught me anything it’s the fact that I should listen to the still small voice of the Holy Spirit directing me and my intuition.  This was something I knew with my heart, but consistently ignored and plowed forward regardless.   I have found in most cases when I did there were definitely regrets to follow, especially when it comes to relationships.  I could have saved myself a tremendous amount of heartbreak, money and time had a listened to my intuition.
  5. Put aside anything that does not serve you:  This includes relationships, activities, habits and character traits.  I envision the woman that I desire to be and plan to chase after her with no abandon.  Hopefully, you do the same!

God Bless,

Court

Life, perseverance & yoga

IMG_9486Droplets of sweat dripped steadily down my face & onto the black mat before me. How long is she going to make us hold this pose?  I grimaced as I struggled to stay in an uttanasana, in otherwords I was bent over attempting to touch my nose to my knees quite unsuccessfully.  The instructor continued speaking in her soft voice, which at the beginning of class I had found to be quite soothing; But after 45 minutes had become more of an annoyace than an assurance.  I didnt want to hear about softening my body to flow with the movements or how my breathing should bring me into a state of knowing.  Can we please just shavasana already I screamed in my head!  I was wobbly, unbalanced, my breathing was more of a deep pant refusing to coincide with any movements & Im quite sure I resembled a new born calf trying to hold poses that in my mind my body was never meant to attempt. My hands, feet, legs & arms all felt like they were on fire & I had no idea you could be so sore from yoga!  The embarrassment of gathering my belongings & limping out of the room was becoming less of a deterrent by the minute.

The thing is, I had put myself through this torture, I had paid $15 to participate in hot yoga & be tortured for an hour and fifteen minutes.  I berated myself, knowing that the word hot preceding anything would probably feel slightly like a dialed down hell.  Also, since the class was 15 minutes longer than most I should have opted for something that was appropriate for a woman that hadnt laid eyes on a yoga mat in over a year except to toss it into the trunk of her car.

When we finally reached my favorite pose, shavasana, I melted slowly onto my mat with a deep satisfied exhale & closed my eyes.   The room was silent aside from the steady beat of low music & periodic snores of a man that was obviously more spent than I had been, but my mind was blaring.  Thoughts flooded my mind & I eventually settled on thinking of how this class was much like my life.  You see, I have this vision of being a super bendy, impromptu split doing, yoga guru but In order to reach my goal I have to make the practice of perseverance in adversity a way of life.  I struggled through the pain of lotus position & wanted to stop at navasana but I eventually came to the realization that I had to push through or refuse to grow.

The urge to bypass the painful parts of growth in leui of quick relief is a universal human trait.  We want to be strong enough to hold ourselves up in an awe inspiring hand stand dont want to do the work to strengthen our arms.   We run from the hard work that will catapult us to the next level, seek refugee in partying or dead end dating instead of identifying the cause of & working through lonliness, or we put off tedious tasks opting for the much more pleaurable lure of procrastination.  I believe that we have so many options that can pull us away from the focus of our daily ‘practices’.  The pull of distraction & ease of giving up is something that can easily deter or delay success.  But if you keep your thoughts on your end goal, eventually you will get there.  You may be tired, sweaty & sore but you will arrive!

As we exited the class the instructor stopped me as the new girl in class & told me cheerfully that she hoped to see me again in class & guess what she did!

Love you lots & much success in all your endeavors!

Court