Tag Archives: black women

Statistical scare tactics

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with an associate. The conversation started out fine but somehow took a wrong turn once he found out I had recently broken up with my boyfriend. Once this little tidbit of information was leaked he jumped at the opportunity to tell me how I’m too old to wait for marriage, how slim the pickings were and the odds not in my favor. I entertained the conversation until he informed me that I should consider making a drastic change to my dating style, which included getting back with my previous ex because my parents liked him, dating a thug, dating one of his friends (who he had previously described as gorillas ) because I apparently need a more aggressive guy in my life, and considering the possibility of divulging in one night stands just so that I didn’t waste my time on someone that doesn’t quite measure up (his words exactly) as he gestured towards his privates! At this point all I could do was laugh and think to myself devil be gone! But I did agree with him on one thing, the fact that a change was needed!

Although yes I do want to be married I can’t for the life of me figure out why men and apparently society in general think women are so desperate to be married. I told him that I was in no rush and if it happened it happened, if not I’ve asked God to make me okay with that and I’ll have to adjust accordingly. I’ve also asked God to keep counterfeits away from me! I did not tell my associate that within a couple days if breaking up with my ex I had been asked on a date and gotten a call from my previous boyfriend wanting to rekindle our relationship. What I’m saying is that there are men out there, even if society tells us there is a shortage. I’m not buying into statistical scare tactics because I know I’m worth the wait & my husband is too. It only takes one awesome guy to recognize how special I am and he’ll come along at the right time God willing regardless of what the studies show.

The change that I’m making is to focus on other things, Jesus being my main focus while also working on strengthening my friendships and familial bonds, seeking Gods guidance on single motherhood (I’m looking into adoption & IVF) and pursuing my career. Meanwhile I’ll take the lessons I’ve learned and use them to better myself so that whatever God has in store for my future be it marriage or single motherhood I’ll be at my best.

God bless,
Court

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