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Ways to prevent falling for a wolf…

Although nothing is fail proof, here are some things we can do to combat tying ourselves to the wrong person?
1. Get Godly counsel about him: If you are serious, introduce him to your pastor and other members at your church. What do they say and think of him? If he attends a church visit his church as well.
2. Get to know the people in his life: How does he interact with them? What do they have to say about him? The more you all are together around others, the more comfortable he will become showing his true colors if initially only his representative was showing up.
3. Be observant : Is he a man of his word? Does he do the things he says he will or does he say one thing and then do another?
4. Seek God: Ask God for discernment and wisdom, which God gives freely to those that ask (James 1:5). Seek to know his heart more than what you see physically as his outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7 & Romans 8:27) and ask God to show you if the relationship is within His will.
5. Have him meet people that love you: Spend time with people you know and love together. Ask people whose opinions you trust and that truly have your best interest at heart. Although they should not be the final or ultimate decision makers you should definitely take their thoughts into account especially if they have had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with him.
6. Trust your intuition: Intuition is one of the ways God directs us, it is that small nudge we get from time to time when you just know something isn’t right or when you should continue on your current path.
I hope these pointers help, happy courting!

Court

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Wolves & Sheep

Sometimes when dating we find ourselves entangled in wrong relationships which can lead to the creation of unholy soul ties and unnecessary heart ache. (you can read more about soul ties here). Many times we trust what we see and hear with our worldly senses and ignore God’s voice or our spiritual senses. A wolf in sheep’s clothing can seem to have it all together a nice home, car, be a tithing member of a church and be able to spout bible verses like he himself wrote a couple chapters But as we all know even the devil has biblical knowledge and just because he is able to quote the bible like the back of his hand does not mean he is a man of God. Many people can speak or hear the good word and never put into action the things they know or even have the desire to truly walk the walk.
Here are some questions to ask when you are trying to figure out if you’re dating a wolf in sheep’s clothing. What are his actions showing you? Does he truly value your walk with God or does he do things that poke fun at your devotion to God? Is he truly exhibiting Christ like characteristics and attempting to abide in Christ? Does he say he understands your desire to wait until marriage to have sex but then constantly pressure you about it? Does he say you all will pray or attend church together but never follow through? Does he understand the true consequences of sin (Romans 6:22, James 1:15)? Does he know that sexual immorality is the only sin we commit against our own bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18) and that sin creates a rift or separates you from the most high God (Isaiah 59:2). James 4:22 (NIV) says that anyone then who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins. Would you want to date someone that ultimately brings you further from Christ, someone that will draw you closer to the world and not to God? God said we have a choice to make and it is either Him or the world (1John 2:15 and James 4:4) choose wisely!

Also in all things we must make sure that our hearts our in alignment with what God would want, so make sure you are upholding your standards and conducting yourself as a woman of God. Pit your character and qualities against the questions asked above as well to make sure you are not causing your brother in Christ to fall.

Happy Courting,
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Enough Reality (why I ditched reality tv)…

My girlfriend looked at me like I had two heads the day I told her I stopped watching Real Housewives of Atlanta. ‘What is wrong with you?’ She asked deeply concerned almost as if I had just announced I had an incurable illness. “Nothing, it just got to be too much for me” I shrugged and went on to briefly explain the reasons I had ditched reality tv. Now, I must confess, I was a reality television addict! From the Kardashians to any real housewife from any state, I watched them all. Most nights I was plopped in front of the television and if not you better believe my DVR was set to capture all the action. Seeing the fights and arguments then dishing about them on Facebook or the phone with friends that shared my love of drama was a highlight of my evening. I knew I used television as a way of escaping the monotony of my own life. It provided a false sense of excitement that was lacking in my own everyday. I also knew I had to stop using tv as a crutch, so about three years ago I stopped cold turkey. At that point in my life I was going through a difficult time, I had lost my job and had to move back in with my father. Getting lost in reality tv made me forget that I felt like a failure in life if even for a brief moment. I had two degrees and somehow still found myself curled up on a couch night after night. Although I was grateful to have a place to lay my head, it was a devastating blow to my ego.

Honesty, I can’t tell you exactly what happened or what switched but one day I just didn’t have the desire, I couldn’t stomach the arguments and it was sickening to see grown women (and men) act like a bunch of catty schoolgirls for ratings. This is no dis to anyone who watches this type of programming, but I personally had had enough. It was at this time that I started watching more Christian centered shows, I watched a lot of Daystar and other stations geared toward spirituality. Also, since I wasn’t working it gave me plenty of time to delve deeper into my in my bible study and relationship with God. I learned a lot about how what you see and hear affects your inner spirit. In Psalms, David states that he would set no wicked thing before his eyes (Psalms 101:3). I’m not saying the women on these shows are wicked, because who am I to judge their hearts? But I will say that some of their actions are not those that I would want to take in on a consistent basis. And they definitely aren’t anything I would emulate, although I must admit I did and probably still will have my moments as God makes progress with me. But for audiences that are easily tricked into thinking that the eye rolling, popping off at the mouth, tell it like it is no matter who they hurt women they see on television are people to fashion your life after, I would challenge them to read Proverbs 31 and Titus 2:5, portraits of biblical women.

In proverbs 21:19 (NIV), it says it is better to dwell in the wilderness than to live with a quarrelsome and nagging wife, seriously the wilderness ya’ll! I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to waste watching argumentative women, I value my girlfriends and if they acted that way I would definitely have to love them from a distance! There is nothing that I can learn or gather from those shows except how to be quarrelsome and that is the opposite of what I want to become so anything not within the focus of where I’m headed had to go. I truly believe that just as you should guard your heart, your eyes and ears should be guarded as well especially since the eye is the light of the body (Matth 6:22). If we are truly living to keep our bodies healthy we must also include that which we hear and see because it truly does affect us. Although I do listen to secular music I try to draw the line at lascivious music. Music can definitely affect our moods, it can help put us in a state of worship or a state of lust. Here is a link to a research article in science daily that discusses music and mood changes. Simply put, everything we do is about choices and in most situations we can choose what we put into our bodies. Will it be something that helps us grow or keeps us stagnant, the choice is always ours.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Here’s to a purposeFULL life
Court

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Don’t push that button…

Have you ever been at a point in a relationship where you just wanted attention?  And I mean ANY type of attention from your mate even if it wasn’t positive.  Or have you let your emotions get the best of you and said something just to cause a reaction from someone else?  Well, I have and to be perfectly honest with you, I have done it in all of my relationships.  I have only had three seriously committed relationships in my years here on earth, but they have all been eye opening experiences.  With each relationship I learned something new about what I want from a man, my desires for the type of relationship I would like to have and most importantly new things about myself.  One thing I realized or rather accepted is that I was acting like a spoiled brat sometimes!  In relationships, I often wanted things my way or the highway!  If you didn’t have time to talk to me or were taking too long to get back to me, I would get upset and pass that anger along in a mean or condescending text.  If there was something that I wanted to do that conflicted with what my partner had planned I would be upset and try to make him do what I wanted.  It was a very unhealthy way of life for both of us and ultimately I’m sure my selfish and bratty ways helped to place a divide between us. 

I have grown enough to recognize this as one of my flaws and as God continues to reveal more of my fleshly ways I am able to humbly ask him to change my life from the inside out.  I truly want him to create in me a new heart and renew a right spirit within me because one day he will send my earthly husband and if I act the way that I have in the past that man will flee with the quickness! When we ask God to change something within us (or for anything) we have to have faith that it is done, so I thank God today for changing my heart and making me into a more mature godly woman.  There also must be no doubt or double-mindedness in that faith (James  6-8) and we also must begin to operate as changed women.  Faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26), we must act upon what we know which means using our self-control at times when it’s hardest.  It can be quite difficult not to push someone’s buttons especially when they are so close to you that you know exactly what buttons to push to get the reaction you desire.  It isn’t that we won’t feel that anger or need for attention bubbling up inside us but as mature women in Christ we put away childish and manipulative tactics (1Corinthians 13:11) and begin instead to build our houses up as wise women do (Proverbs 14:1).  It takes a lot of will power, discipline and reliance on God (at least for me) but it’s well worth it in the end when you are able to recognize that wonderful growth through God within yourself.

Scriptures that help me:
Psalm 141:3 – Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips
Psalm 51:10 – Create in me a clean heart O God; and renew a right spirit within me
Proverbs 16:32 – He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city

God Bless
Court

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Ears For God

I long to hear from the Lord and to have a much deeper connection with my heavenly father. I know people that say they can hear God speaking to them about certain situations in their lives and I want that for my life as well. Recently, I was very upset and saddened by falling apart of a two year relaionship, to say the least I was heartbroken. I desperately needed to hear from God and to know his will for my life. I began a fast as I knew that somethings will only come about through prayer and fasting. (Matthew 17:21) Although, I did not hear an audible voice during this time of fasting and prayer I felt closer to God as I shut out the rest of the world and focused on Him. At the end, I didn’t want to stop! I would recommend fasting as a means of removing yourself from the world, shifting your focus onto Him and relying on God to fulfill your desires. I am still on my journey to hear from God and to recognize His voice beyond a shadow of a doubt because I know he speaks to me, I’m just not sure that I am listenting. In the bible there are many pepole that fasted, but during my time of fasting I thought a lot of Ester. She fasted for three days before a huge, life altering decision that if gone wrong could have ended her life. In no way was I fasting for an answer to a life or death situation, but I was still seeking answers. One thing the fast showed me was the fact that I had to trust in God and rely on Him, in times of hunger and wanting to give up I leaned on and trusted in Him to feed me through his daily bread, His word. (Deut 8:3; Matt4:4; Luke 4:4) During my time of fasting I also began to thank God for my heartbreak ironically! Because if it hadn’t happened I never would have relyed so heavily on His word, during this small trial. James says to count it all joy when we go through trials and temptations for through faith in God those difficult times mold and deveop us into more patient and whole people. (James 1:2-4) One more awesome thing occured during my time of fasting, I had a dream where I was told to go to christian.org. Prior to the dream I had never heard of the website and now this is where I begin my journey into blogging and online journal that I hope through God’s saving grace will be of help others!

Scriptures that helped me during my fast:
Psalms 51:10 – Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me.
Provers 3:5 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Songs:
Fly – Jason Upton
Have Mercy – Out of Eden
Break Every Chain – Tasha Cobbs (but there are multipl versions)

God Bless
Court

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