Droplets of sweat dripped steadily down my face & onto the black mat before me. How long is she going to make us hold this pose? I grimaced as I struggled to stay in an uttanasana, in otherwords I was bent over attempting to touch my nose to my knees quite unsuccessfully. The instructor continued speaking in her soft voice, which at the beginning of class I had found to be quite soothing; But after 45 minutes had become more of an annoyace than an assurance. I didnt want to hear about softening my body to flow with the movements or how my breathing should bring me into a state of knowing. Can we please just shavasana already I screamed in my head! I was wobbly, unbalanced, my breathing was more of a deep pant refusing to coincide with any movements & Im quite sure I resembled a new born calf trying to hold poses that in my mind my body was never meant to attempt. My hands, feet, legs & arms all felt like they were on fire & I had no idea you could be so sore from yoga! The embarrassment of gathering my belongings & limping out of the room was becoming less of a deterrent by the minute.
The thing is, I had put myself through this torture, I had paid $15 to participate in hot yoga & be tortured for an hour and fifteen minutes. I berated myself, knowing that the word hot preceding anything would probably feel slightly like a dialed down hell. Also, since the class was 15 minutes longer than most I should have opted for something that was appropriate for a woman that hadnt laid eyes on a yoga mat in over a year except to toss it into the trunk of her car.
When we finally reached my favorite pose, shavasana, I melted slowly onto my mat with a deep satisfied exhale & closed my eyes. The room was silent aside from the steady beat of low music & periodic snores of a man that was obviously more spent than I had been, but my mind was blaring. Thoughts flooded my mind & I eventually settled on thinking of how this class was much like my life. You see, I have this vision of being a super bendy, impromptu split doing, yoga guru but In order to reach my goal I have to make the practice of perseverance in adversity a way of life. I struggled through the pain of lotus position & wanted to stop at navasana but I eventually came to the realization that I had to push through or refuse to grow.
The urge to bypass the painful parts of growth in leui of quick relief is a universal human trait. We want to be strong enough to hold ourselves up in an awe inspiring hand stand dont want to do the work to strengthen our arms. We run from the hard work that will catapult us to the next level, seek refugee in partying or dead end dating instead of identifying the cause of & working through lonliness, or we put off tedious tasks opting for the much more pleaurable lure of procrastination. I believe that we have so many options that can pull us away from the focus of our daily ‘practices’. The pull of distraction & ease of giving up is something that can easily deter or delay success. But if you keep your thoughts on your end goal, eventually you will get there. You may be tired, sweaty & sore but you will arrive!
As we exited the class the instructor stopped me as the new girl in class & told me cheerfully that she hoped to see me again in class & guess what she did!
Love you lots & much success in all you endeavors!