This morning I woke up to the question, is God enough? The question lingered in my mind as I shifted from the grogginess of sleep to a new day, is God enough? It traveled with me through the day as I ran errands, visited family and planned my next day, is God enough?
You see earlier this year, my father died. It literally broke me and was the hardest thing I have experienced in this life and honestly at that time, God did not seem like enough. I was angry with God for not healing him, for not producing some miraculous cure for Lewy Body Dementia or not letting the doctor come in and announce she had diagnosed him wrong and he actually had something that could easily be cured with a pill. But none of that occurred, and when I picked up the phone on January 2nd to a nurse telling me that my father had ‘expired’ I didn’t feel like God was there nor nearly enough to quench the pain and anger I felt.
Since then I have done a lot of searching, a lot of praying and a lot of questioning. I miss my father so much, I still cry almost every day when I think of him but his death ultimately drew me closer to God as I leaned in Him for strength. I don’t think anyone can ever answer the question is God enough until they have been through a situation where they don’t feel like He is, because that is where faith comes into play. Difficult times will always test our faith even if for a brief moment.
If you lose your job tomorrow, lose your home, lose your child, spouse, sibling or parent, get diagnosed with a debilitating illness or just simply lose hope, will God be enough?
It’s not an easily answered question and it still roams around in my head as I type this but I can only pray that I have the faith to always believe that He is and I pray the same for you.
and without faith it is impossible to please God – Hebrews 11:6