When you can’t be friends with your ex…

It can be a hard pill to swallow that the person you once and still love has moved on to someone else and no longer shares the same feelings for you, but it happens. You can feel abandoned, lonely and heartbroken.  Trust me I’ve felt it.  It’s not a great place to be and you’re wondering how you can move forward without this person in your life. I have a couple of tips that may help as I’m currently feeling the sting of heartbreak myself.  Although I’ve tried thinking of my ex as just a friend, I know that until I no longer have feelings for him in the capacity of a significant other I can not have a friendship without always wanting something more.  These are some reasons that I personally know I can’t immediately be friends after a breakup.

  1. When you have told them how you feel: Tell them how you feel and if it’s meant to be there may be second chances down the line.  If however this is not the person for you, it’s a good chance that you may not want a second chance and that it’s better to just leave things where they are, work through the pain and move on.   In my case I did want another chance to make us work and he wanted to just move on.  When this is the case and one party is over the relationship and possibly moving on you should define they try your best to do the same no matter how much it hurts.
  2. When you’re setting yourself up for failure: normally being friends after a break up will lead to one party getting hurt if the other has started dating and seeing other people seriously.  To save yourself some heartache don’t try the ‘lets just be friends’ right away as a lot of times it’s much easier for the party that’s moved on.  This isn’t to say you can never be friends eventually, but make sure all feelings for that person have dissipated first and there’s no chance of restoring a deeper connection, especially if they have already proven that they aren’t looking for more.
  3. when you know there may be animosity: In my case I know I would have had some animosity if we continued to try and be friends because I wanted more and he didn’t.  It hurts like he land it may take several try’s but go out, mingle with other people and just have fun with life, you’ll soon meet other people that will help kee your mind off of your ex.
  4. When you know that you deserve better treatment: If your ex wants to just be friends and keep you around to serve their purposes knowing how it makes you feel, then you deserve much more!  Plus, theperson meant for you, will ultimately stay with you, unless the circumstances are toxic.  If he or she left, they weren’t the one and they were probably meant to be lessons in your life.

of course this may not be true for everyone, and each person is responsible for how they proceed in relationships. Life and heartbreak go hand in hand unfortunately, how you deal with will lead to Getting over it sooner, or dragging the process out, the choice is yours.

God bless


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