What love is not…

Throughout my life I’ve searched to know what love is, but with each relationship or interaction I grow more aware of what love is not and can put that knowledge to use when loving others.  I realize I don’t always acted lovingly and have contributed greatly to failed friendships and courtships.  Even today I find myself acting out what seems to be the anthesis of love.  I sometimes do things that are in direct contrast to the teachings on what love is in 1 Corinthians like being impatient with my father or snapping at my mother when I’m in a bad mood.  In past relationships with men I thought loving someone meant that they became yours, I practiced a jealous, possessive ‘love’ and still have to fight with my flesh because it always wants to be in control.  As I’ve matured I know that love is giving someone the freedom to be themselves and to follow their passions while supporting them.  Love isn’t withholding affections or attention out of spite nor is it trying to change someone by constantly pointing out areas of lack but allowing them to better themselves and acknowledging their humanity through grace.  Many of the lessons I’ve learned are because they were enacted upon me and I realized that it didn’t feel like the joy of receiving love.  Throughout my life I’ve had three pretty serious relationships and can pinpoint areas that didn’t feel like love at the time in one relationship I learned that love did not feel like physical and emotional abuse and felt the long term effects that could come from hurtful words. Love doesn’t feel like being unsupported, lied to, ignored, unwanted or taken advantage of.  I’ve learned that love means serving, it means putting someone else first and not being selfish but ironically it also does not mean caving into their every want and desire especially if it’s to their detriment.  Many of these feelings about love are obvious, but there are many of us that remain in loveless relationships despite the revelations.  I ran across this video by one of my new fav YouTubers about the seven things we mistake for love and wanted to share!  Let me know your thoughts!

be blessed

court

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