Since breaking up with my ex earlier this year I’ve had numerous people attempt to set me up with guys, get me to go out more in an effort to meet ‘the one’ and one friend in particular that was bent on ushering me back into the world of online dating. In the past I have visited that world and honestly couldn’t wait to get home! The thought of seriously engaging in online dating made me cringe. Having to journey through over crowded man catalogues and sorting the good from bad apples was really not something I felt mentally prepared to endure at that time. But after knowing a hand full of people that are now happily married through online dating and listening to my friend who was recently engaged to someone she met online I saw a little bit of silver shimmer on the outer edge of that once dark cloud. Finally, I honestly think out of wanting to fill the void of loneliness I gave into her urgings and my curiosity and opened an account. Unfortunately, the experience was once again lack luster and my silver shimmer was soon revealed to be just some annoying glitter that clings unrelentingly to every part of your clothing and body! My interaction on the account went from sometimey to rarely reeeeeal quick as I interacted with men that didn’t quite get where I was coming from or going. Maybe I didn’t try long enough or was on the wrong site but one thing I struggled with was the thought that I was outside of God’s will by dating online. I didn’t know if I was truly relying on or trusting God to bring my husband or if I was taking it upon myself to seek out a mate because I was too impatient to wait on God’s best? If the latter was true, I already knew that things could only end badly and definitely did not want that.
Since I realized that my reasons for opening the account in the first place weren’t going to bring about a healthy return I refrained from using the site in leiu of growing my relationship with God and building a solid spiritual foundation. I have however decided within those months that online dating is fine for Christians, at least this Christian (since I can only speak for me) if I ever decide to give it another go. Here are three reasons why…
It is a tool: When I decided it was time to purchase my home, I went to the interenet, the same with a car and school. I use the interenet daily to help me get along in life and why should dating be any different? These tools were provided to make my life easier and options plentiful. Believe me, I know choosing a mate isn’t as simple as buying a car but the ablitity to see what people are about, what their intentions are, if they are honest, and some general information right off the bat makes it slightly easier to choose.
God isn’t limited: But I can choose to limit my options. Have you ever heard the story about the man that was drowning and he ask God for help, God sends a boat (amongst other methods of escape) but the man doesn’t take it because he is waiting on God. When the man get’s to heaven he ask God why he didn’t help him nd God is like ‘well I sent a boat’. Yeah, I kind of feel the same way about using online dating services. I don’t know where it says that using the services are wrong and by limiting my interaction with others I put boundaries on the people I can meet, including those that may turn out to be great friends or just people that I can be a light for by talking to them about God. I realize God can do anything, He can bring the man for me straight to my doorstep or to my inbox online.
It does not take away from my Christian walk: If I were to go on a blind date with someone he would know on our initial date where my head was and that I was a woman of God attempting to live my life as such. No one night stands, no kissing etc and there’s nothing different online. My profile statement and photograph make it clear that I’m not here for anything more than making a connection with someone whose goal is to make Christ the center of their life as well.
What are your views about Christians dating online?