Have you ever been in a situation where someone was always reminding you of the person you used to be? Not allowing you to grow as a person based on who they believe you to be? Throughout my life I’ve come to recognize that people grow and for better or worse they will ultimately change. No one remains the same, I’m not the same person I was five years ago and will be different five years from now. Although our core values may remain consistent, we evolve and are molded by life experiences. It can be difficult to allow people the space and encouragement to grow as many times we want to box them into what our perspective is of them without getting to know the developed individual. This could be because we don’t want them to change, don’t believe the change, or we don’t see it occurring in a recognizable way or within a certain time period.
I’m guilty of this and recognize it most when it’s done to me as I recently had a situation along these lines. Many times the thing that hurts the most is that the people closest to you often have the hardest time letting go of the old you by constantly hurling reminders your way about who you used to be. For someone wanting to better themselves, experiences like this can negatively impact your growth and become a stumbling block, especially if you are just beginning their journey. It’s like the devil who will always remind you of that sin you committed last week, that thought you had the other day, or that you aren’t good enough to be a child of God. Ultimately, you have to realize that it’s the other persons issue and press forward without their support and continue to live your truth as best you can. Also, remember to speak words of God over your life, relationships and endeavors. When someone speaks negativity over your growth journey (even if it’s yourself) remind them that although you may not be where you need to be, you aren’t where you used to be and thank God for even the tiniest of growth spurts during your development.
On the flip side, if you find it hard to support a change in someone either because you don’t see it or don’t believe it valid, if it’s a good shift, try your best to always be in their corner and speak the truth in love. I can honestly say that I have the negative nelly trait and sometimes it rears its ugly head either in my own life or in dealing with others. I have to consciously catch words as they come out of my mouth sometimes before it’s too late, which unfortunately many times it is. We have to remember that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but no one should have to pay for those mistakes for life. Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthian 13:5) and if you’re continuing a relationships with the person, it’s easier to be receptive to their change if you aren’t harboring resentments and past failures. Many of us fear change, even if it is for the better, simply because it’s uncharted territory. But we shouldn’t take that out on those that strive to be and do better in their lives. Be supportive of others growth journeys, you may just find that you like the new them and if someone isn’t supporting you, it may be time to continue your journey without them!
God bless and here’s to a purposeFULL life!